💥 43. MY THERAPIST WAS MORE F*CKED UP THAN I WAS

Sometimes healing means firing the one with the framed credentials.


She had degrees.
A waiting room with crystals and calming jazz.
A bookshelf of trauma manuals
she probably never read past the blurbs.

And every week, I sat there—
bleeding truth
into a sterile office
hoping she’d know what to do with it.


But slowly, I noticed things.
The way she winced at my rage.
The way she redirected my grief
back into guilt.
The way she told me
I “wasn’t making progress”
if I didn’t cry on schedule.


She said “unpack that.”
But only if it fit inside her suitcase.
She called me resistant
when I said, “That’s not how it felt.”
She pathologized my clarity
and diagnosed my fire
as dysfunction.


And still, I stayed.
Because she was the expert.
The one with the clipboard.
The calm tone.
The title.


But one day I realized—
I left every session feeling smaller.
More broken.
More confused.
More ashamed for not healing fast enough
or quietly enough
or in a way that made her comfortable.


So I did the scariest, healthiest thing I’ve ever done:

I walked out.
And didn’t go back.


Because healing isn’t measured by how well you behave
in someone else’s blueprint.
It’s measured by how deeply you trust yourself
to say: “This isn’t helping.”

Even when it’s a “professional.”
Even when they mean well.
Even when they wear a badge that says healer.


🧠 Emotional Takeaway:

Having a degree doesn’t mean they understand you.
Having a title doesn’t mean they’re safe.
And just because someone talks like a therapist
doesn’t mean they’re ready to meet your pain.


🪞 Reflection Box:

I didn’t fire her because she was mean.
I fired her because she was misaligned.

And I stopped mistaking compliance
for emotional growth.


🎤 She had the walls, the books, the chair—
But couldn’t hold me halfway there.
She named my fire, called it flaw—
But never really saw what I saw.

I paid the bill. I played the part.
Till healing meant I broke that chart.
Credentials don’t mean safe or wise—
I healed the day I cut those ties.

Pink jar labeled Support Healing with clouds

Support Christy's Healing Journey

You’re not tipping a brand. You’re tipping a person. This is me—no filters, no performance, just raw survival turned into purpose. If this hit something real in you, throw a dollar in the jar. Not because you owe me. Because maybe it helps you keep going, too. This is how I fund the real work. The truth-telling. The healing. The absolute audacity of still standing. Thank you for being here with me.

This time, recovery is from all of it. Screw steps. Screw perfection. No shame here. Just stories. What saved you, or what you saved yourself from? What are you healing from?

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