Twisted Mirror – You can’t call out for burnout if burnout is the job.
It’s “Wellness Week” again.
Which means:
Free peppermint tea in the breakroom.
A corporate email about “prioritizing mental health.”
And a PowerPoint from HR
about resilience through gratitude.
No one mentions
the manager who quit mid-shift.
Or the team lead who had a panic attack in the bathroom
and came back smiling.
Or the guy who stopped talking,
but still answers emails.
They tell us:
“Speak up if you’re struggling.”
But don’t do it in a meeting.
Or during busy season.
Or too often.
Or too emotionally.
Or to the wrong person.
There are no sick days for breakdowns.
No PTO for despair.
No form to check
when your brain won’t reboot
and your soul’s in low-power mode.
Just “tea and empathy,”
served lukewarm
by someone who hasn’t had a lunch break in three years.
I filled out the “How Are You Feeling?” survey
with tears in my eyes.
The results said I’m flourishing.
Probably because I didn’t check “other”
and write:
“I fantasize about quitting during meetings
and leaving my laptop in the street.”
Here’s the memo they won’t send:
- Your smile is part of the dress code.
- Your burnout is expected.
- Your exhaustion is a KPI.
- Your silence is compliance.
- Your presence is profit.
But hey—
tea.
Welcome to the Real Whirld.
Where wellness is performative,
and collapse is bad for optics.
